" said Trish. At this point I doubted thatanything could shock me. What more could they do to ruin my life, Ithought. How stupid I was."We needed a wa... to get through to you how permanent your transition isand that while you may wish to escape the life of a slave girl and returnto being a man, it just isn't going to happen. To do this, we haveinformed your family," Trish explained.My world shattered around me. This couldn't be true I thought. "What? No.What did you say? Why?" I began to ramble. I didn’t know why.Mr. Emerson opened a book on his desk and motioned me over beside him. I was breathing strangely and stood beside him looking down at the book. “This is the writing of Walt Whitman,” he said, “and much of his poetry is about love and feelings…read this part.” I leaned over to look at the words and his arm went around my waist. It was warm and I wiggled very slightly and began to read the poem about men and women and “feeling myself…alive” and Mr. Emerson was rubbing my. I started tucking it back into my pants, not wishing to be caught holding it by whoever was making the noise.With the thought of that embarrassment running through my head, I heard it again, that low moan. It seemed to float out onto the evening breeze, as it soared around me. So beautiful that sound of heavenly pleasure, such a soft sigh like a sirens song to the sailor. Its intriguing call beckoned me. My eye catches sight of a dim light that I could have sworn wasn't there before is now. One night, while lying on the bed naked, she began to cuddle up with her favorite blanket. It was a quilt her aunt made for her a few years back. It was thick and oh, so warm and comfortable. She was listening to her favorite Jimmy Reed album and imagining Jimmy was talking to her when he sang 'but I'm a natural born lover, yea I'm a real good lover'. She imagined Jimmy as a big man with big strong hands, someone who could hold her and keep her warm and safe at night. She began to roll around.
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