"What, have sex with Paul?" "Yeah" Well, why don't you?" I'm just scared. I'm afraid it will hurt, and I'm afraid I won't know what to do. I know Paul...is experienced, but I'm not"."Well don't worry about it, honey, it will work out..."The next day Jennifer and I talked on the phone. Nothing was said about sex at all. Mom told me not to worry about it, that it would be taken care of. A week went by, and all week we either talked on the phone, or Karen brought her over to our house for a few. " She offered. Ben laughed and she winced. "Please honey. Shhhh." Okay, I'll see you later mom." He whispered and kissed her forehead. She looked at his back as he walked out of her room. Something was nagging at her. Something important. But what was it?Oh."Ben." She called behind him in a meek little voice. "Has -- has the mail man been yet?"Her son smiled secretively over his shoulder and closed the door behind him. She was left in silence and the rapidly fading memory of her dream.Twenty. " I'm sorry if I sound mad because I'm really not. Its just that when Momand I were talking about it one time, she said that I didn't put up toomuch of a fight." Why would you? I thought this is what you wanted. I thought it wouldmake you happy. Your mother and I both thought it would make you happy." And it does make me happy, but it still leaves me wondering why youdidn't try to change my mind." Are you trying to say I didn't love you enough to make you stay a boy." No, I'm not saying that.. I went inside, took a shower and was deciding where to go for dinner when I realized that I had left the ladder in the back yard. I went outside around the back of the house and was about to move the ladder when I noticed the light on in an upstairs window of the house next door. Standing in front of a mirror with her back to me was Brenda Weatherly, my next door neighbor. I could only see her from the waist up but she appeared to be naked. Her hands lifted her long brown hair into a bun on top.
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